第4部分(第2/7 页)

Nay；　I　wouldn’t　have　believed　I　could　take　anyone’s　life；　even　if　I’d　been　told

so　moments　before　I　murdered　that　fool；　and　thus；　my　offense　at　times　recedes

from　me　like　a　foreign　galleon　disappearing　on　the　horizon。　Now　and　again；　I

even feel as if I haven’t mitted any crime at all。 Four days have passed

since　I　was　forced　to　do　away　with　hapless　Elegant；　who　was　a　brother　to　me；

and　only　now　have　I；　to　some　extent；　accepted　my　situation。

I　would’ve　preferred　to　resolve　this　unexpected　and　awful　dilemma　without

having to do away with anybody； but I knew there was no other choice。 I

handled the matter then and there； assuming the burden of responsibility。 I

couldn’t let the false accusations of one foolhardy man endanger the entire

society　of　miniaturists。

Nevertheless； being a murderer takes some getting used to。 I can’t stand

being　at　home；　so　I　head　out　to　the　street。　I　can’t　stand　my　street；　so　I　walk　on

to　another；　and　then　another。　As　I　stare　at　people’s　faces；　I　realize　that　many　of

them　believe　they’re　innocent　because　they　haven’t　yet　had　the　opportunity　to

snuff　out　a　life。　It’s　hard　to　believe　that　most　men　are　more　moral　or　better

than　me　simply　on　account　of　some　minor　twist　of　fate。　At　most；　they　wear

somewhat stupider expressions because they haven’t yet killed； and like all

fools；　they　appear　to　have　good　intentions。　After　I　took　care　of　that　pathetic

man；　wandering　the　streets　of　Istanbul　for　four　days　was　enough　to　confirm

that　everyone　with　a　gleam　of　cleverness　in　his　eye　and　the　shadow　of　his　soul

cast　across　his　face　was　a　hidden　ass