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made me in Venice using adulterated gold and brought me here; passing me
off as twenty…two…carat Ottoman gold。 Your sympathy and understanding are
much obliged。
Based on what I could gather from being in the mint in Venice; this
business has been going on for years。 Until recently; the debased gold pieces
that the Veian infidels brought to the East and spent were Veian ducats
which they minted in that same mint。 We Ottomans; forever respectful of
whatever is written; paid no heed to the amount of gold in each ducat—so
long as the inscription remained the same—and these fake Veian gold
pieces flooded Istanbul。 Later; noting that coins with less gold and more
copper were harder; we began to distinguish the coins by biting them。 For
example; you’re burning with love; you go running to Mahmut; that youth of
unsurpassed beauty; beloved by all; first; he takes into his soft mouth the
coin—not the other thing—and biting it; declares it counterfeit。 As a
consequence; he’ll take you to Heaven for only half an hour instead of one full
hour。 The Veian infidels; realizing that their counterfeit coins presented
such disadvantages; decided that they might as well counterfeit Ottoman
coins; reasoning that the Ottomans would be fooled again。
Now; let me draw your attention to something quite bizarre: When these
Veian infidels paint; it’s as if they’re not making a painting but actually
creating the object they’re painting。 When it es to money; however; rather
than making the real thing; they make its count